So I'm sitting in Panera and trying desperately to write this paper that has been haunting me for two weeks and it's just not coming. I don't want to do it anymore. It's not good, I can't fake it, and I just don't want to do it. I have this problem with pointless tasks asked of me. This whole class feels pointless. I just want to be able to go into the admin office at Fuller and yell, "DIDN'T YOU READ MY TRANSCRIPT?!?!? I KNOW HOW TO WRITE PAPERS, I KNOW HOW TO READ A BOOK, I GRADUATED COLLEGE!!! I TOOK MANY CLASSES ON WRITING PAPERS, NOW I'M IN GRADUATE SCHOOL AND I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT?!?!? DID YOU READ MY ESSAYS OR MY RECOMMENDATIONS!?!?!?"
Clearly they didn't and now I'm stuck writing a research paper, just for the fun of it. Not to learn anything except the process of writing papers. I'm so frustrated. I don't know if I want to go to seminary anymore if this is what it's like. I'm assured over and over that this isn't what it's like, but at this point, I don't want to continue on.
That being said, I'm sorry I've been quiet. I know I promised I'd write more, and I didn't.
Sometimes when I read others blogs I feel like my random thoughts aren't good enough to put out there. I'm not deep enough or spiritual enough or even just witty enough. But is that what I'm supposed to be? No I'm supposed to be me. If I have questions or thoughts or even frustrations (see above) then this is the place for them. I will try to be better and I will just try to be me.
Ok... enough procrastinating. I have got to start writing...
'till next time....
