Basically... I saved Thanksgiving!

So this year I joined my family in Lake Arrowhead for Thanksgiving this year. We had my sister's family with us too, and both my little brothers were in town from school. It was a crowd and we had a lot of fun. We played lots of games including several rounds of Settlers of Catan (my FAVORITE game)!

Well it came time for the Thanksgiving dinner and I had made my delish appetizer that I posted about previously. It was a hit and I had a lot of left overs so I froze them. My sister had the brilliant idea of then scraping out the squash with all the yummy cheese sauce and tossing it with pasta. I'm trying it next week. I cannot wait!

Well then it was time for dinner. We had a beautiful 25lb bird and my younger brother, Andrew was asked to carve the turkey. Andrew loves cooking and has really come into being a wonderful chef. He has such a great passion, but he has never carved a bird before. I have.... so I asked him if he wanted me to help. I would carve one side and then he'd do the other. It was fun teaching him and showing him how to do it.

Across the kitchen my mother was attempting to make gravy. My mom is a great cook but she doesn't know how to make gravy... and it was not a pretty sight. So I told her, in a very kind and loving way, to step aside and I'd fix it. My sister and I used the turkey drippings (not the fat, mom!) and added flour, some pepper, fresh rosemary and it was amazing. My brother's girlfriend who was with us for Thanksgiving claimed she didn't like gravy, but I saw her take 2nd and 3rds of the gravy.

So basically, I saved Thanksgiving!

How was your Thanksgiving?

Janel's Test Kitchen

Last night I tested out a few recipes on my dad :) He's a great guinea pig! I have been watching The Chew lately and I LOVE IT! It's so funny and they have great recipes and craft ideas. It's like Pinterest on TV--really!

Awhile back they did a fall recipe that I have been wanting to try. In my head I thought it would be the perfect Thanksgiving appetizer-so finally last night I tried it. Oh man! So delish! It's an Acorn Squash Fondue.

For the recipe, go here.

It was very simple to make. And even more simple to eat! My dad and I ate it up. I am most definitely making this on Thanksgiving. Be jealous!

I asked my dad to make a cocktail to go with it and we came up with the "Grateful Jack" 2 parts Jack Daniels, 1 part Amareto, splash of Agave. Shake and pour over ice. then fill the tall glass with soda water. SO GOOD! It's my new favorite drink.

Then for dinner I made a pork loin with tomato rice from the Food Network Magazine (my favorite thing ever). I followed the recipe and it was fine... I had to take off some of the herbs because I was also cooking for my grandmother who can't eat a lot of those kinds of things. It was ok. Not my favorite. I would've seared the pork loin in a cast iron pan (another of my favorite things) and then baked it. But it turned out fine and my dad and I enjoyed it.

Then there was dessert. On my way home from Church yesterday, I had a stroke of genius. Last year when I was living in Denver, many people sent me boxes of the Candy Cane Joe Joe's from Trader Joe's. Now, if you have not had these yet, go now.... no, NOW and pick up a box. They are oreos with a peppermint filling. They're the best cookie in the world. Well I still had a box left over from last year (unopened) and because Southern California was hit with the Santa Ana winds yesterday, it felt like a good day for ice cream. So I made cookies and cream ice cream but with the Candy Cane Joe Joe's and so it was my two favorite ice creams in one! Peppermint ice cream and Cookies and Cream.

AND dang.... it was scrumptious! Seriously!

So not everything was perfect, but the two important ones were. And the drink too! That was good!

In Awe of Confidence

I want to be stronger.

I find that many women, and I've noticed it more and more as I've gotten older, that many women lack the confidence that we should have. When did the victim mentality become so much more common? Remember the days of Murphy Brown? We were going to take back the business world. We were going to do important things. Now I'm not saying we haven't, but I think that we are falling short of where we should be.

Lately, I've noticed that all my favorite females in pop culture (TV, books and movies) are strong, good, confident women. And a lot of women in my real life are not (not all--but I know I am not). I wasn't aware of why certain characters were my favorite or why I liked some shows more than others, but then it hit me when I was watching the Sound of Music recently.

I was watching the scene where Maria returns to the house with the children after boating on the lake and Capt. VonTrapp greets them and confronts Maria about their clothes (made from her old drapes) and if the children have been climbing trees, etc. It was during their argument when I noticed how strong she was. From the first moment of refusing to blow a whistle to get the children's attention to this moment where she doesn't care at all who he is or that he is a Captain. She is so strong and stands up to him, confronting him on how he doesn't even know his own children and how no one will stand up to him. I was in awe of her courage. She was willing to "loose her job" by standing up to him because she felt so passionately about the children how they needed to be loved. She didn't cower down when he told her no. She wasn't afraid to say what she had done or how she had conducted herself. 

A couple of years ago I picked up a book at Target and devoured it in a few nights. It was The Peach Keeper by author Sarah Addison Allen. It's a story centered around two very strong women. But at first they are passive and complacent in their lives. Paxton, one of the girls learns to speak up for herself and create a new life apart from what is expected of her. There's so much more to the story, but it struck a chord with me. I immediately bought the rest of Allen's books and they are all filled with wonderful, strong, complicated and amazing women characters. (I haven't picked up her new book, Lost Lake, but will very very soon.) 

Another character that I love is C.J. Cregg from the West Wing. I love that character so much that when I was in college, I began the track to become the Press Secretary for the White House. I wanted to be her when I "grew up." I actually met Allison Janney once and told her that, her response was that it was a very hard job and that women should strive for those goals. 

My sister and I at Christmas

I acknowledge that there are strong real women today making differences. My older sister is one. She is a great attorney and has an amazing family at the same time. I honestly don't know how she does it. I am in awe of her every day. 

I have noticed that there are so many wonderful women in our pop culture--doing amazing things. But then why are most of the real women in my life so timid and scared to stand up for themselves? What ideas have we been told or what has happened to not believe that we can dare to do better?

 When did being a strong woman meant that you were a bitchy woman? In my mind I feel like I can either be caring and loved or a bitch. But there is a middle. There can be a woman who is strong and confident and will be loving and caring too. We don't have to be one or the other. In fact all the strong women mentioned above, although mostly fictional, were not mean spirited or rude or harsh. They were passionate and stood for something, mostly themselves. 

I look at some of the women around me in my life and I see people who are waiting for life to happen to them. I see movies where women are always secondary characters. I see women waiting for their Prince Charming to come and rescue them. I see women as victims of circumstance.

When did I become like that? What happened to where I just went along with whatever people were saying? That I just batted my eyes, smiled and went along with what everyone else was doing? No more. I will be strong in my faith. I will stand up for what I believe. No one--NO ONE can tell me that what I think or how I feel is inferior to their way of thinking. My opinions and my thoughts ARE valid. 

As I write this, a few men in my life (past and current) come to mind, and I can recall situations where I've been told that I'm wrong for feeling certain ways about things, big and small. That's what happened. I worked so hard to please others that I compromised who I was. I compromised myself into a small version of who I am. Maybe this is too personal, but there it is. I have become too afraid to stand up and say, "No, it's not OK for you to talk to me as if my thoughts don't matter." "No, you cannot tell me what to do. I tell me what to do. I'm an adult." "No. I am not responsible for your feelings-so I will not be afraid to tell you what I think." I became afraid that if I said/say those things then people wouldn't like me. That they would walk away. My confidence was shaken and let me tell you, it's probably why most of those men are no longer in my life anymore. Oh but did they leave an impression. And no longer will I let that dictate my words or actions.

Maybe because I'm experiencing this revelation in my life I'm finding strong, courageous, passionate women in what I watch or what is out there. I follow an NPR blogger named Linda Holmes. She is passionate about women in media as demonstrated by this blog post from last June. Linda, though you will never read this, please know that I admire you. You are strong and funny and kind. I am so grateful for your blog and podcast and thank you for, at least, subconsciously teaching me that I am worth standing up for. My subconscious was probably processing all of this long before I watched Sound of Music last week, but that's when it surfaced. 

So here it is. Find good people in your life, real or fiction, that you can look up to. That you can strive to be more like. Not in a fantasy way, but in a way that will bring out the very best of you. Women, be strong, confident, kind and courageous. We should not be afraid. If we are afraid of speaking our mind around certain people, then those people are not for us. Let that be portrayed more in movies and TV and books. May those women be celebrated and admired. May those be the women that girls want to be when they grow up.

Know that you are wonderfully and beautifully created. That you have a purpose, and who you are and what you are passionate about are important. If to no one else other than yourself, know that God created you to love and passionately care for that. So thank God everyday for making you-YOU. 

Thanks God, for bringing me back.

Moments

In my adventure here in Colorado, I have found a new church. Mission Hills Church is great! The worship is all about God and the preaching is challenging and relevant. There is a genuineness that I have missed in church for a long time.

Since I've discovered a new church home, I've felt my heart aching to get back into being with youth. I recently tweeted that I miss all-nighters. Who would've thought that?!?! So I contacted the church and I'm currently in the process of becoming a volunteer again (YAY!).

I miss all-nighters and mountain dew comas. #youthministry #youthpastor #bestjobintheworld
— Janel C (@janelc1228) January 3, 2014

One of the questions on the application is "What are some significant events in your life that have impacted you spiritually?" As I began to think about significant spiritual events, here is what I came up with, and I wanted to share it with you.

-Going to Camp in High School and learning that God wanted a relationship with ME.

-Urbana Mission Conference where I heard God calling me to Youth Ministry.

-Going to Biola and realizing what it was that I truly believed and not settling for what I had been told to believe.

-Going to a Youth Specialties Conference and hearing God call me into full time ministry.

-Going on a mission trip as a leader and having my heart broken for the less fortunate in downtown LA.

-Going to Mexico as a leader and having students teach me about the area and being led by them.

-Being surrounded by love from my friends as my time as a Youth Pastor came to an end professionally and through that love, knowing that God was always going to care for me.

I haven't made a list like this in a long time. I ended up making a list of significant spiritual moments in my life that defined me, instead of moments that happened in my life and how those shaped my spiritual life. I'm not going to lie, I cried as I wrote this list. I wept for missing those who were there, for missing those memories. How I hadn't thought of those moments in a long time. But mostly I cried because I realized that God was there at every moment. That my life is defined by what God does. Beautiful. 

I encourage you to make such a list. I think I will print it and place it somewhere I can see each day, to remind me of God's faithfulness. 

Happy New Year.